The Midnight Watch

Holding on 'til the next shift.

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S'a hammerin'.

#1 2014-09-04 10:17:47

Registered: 2013-05-25
Posts: 69

New Features!!!!

As we spread word of the shards relaunch, we thought it time to release an update on some of the new features you will get to see on the shard. 

Now, we know how much everyone loves what UO turned into with the last several expansions, and so we’ve taken a few pages directly out of that book.

First of all, we’ve made mongbats into a playable race. We’ve gotten rid of their default hue and instead you will be able to pick from a variety of neon greens, blues, and purples. We’ve given them a variety of hairstyles ranging from frizzy afros to mullet/ponytails that you can choose from.

Now, we know a small handful of you might be thinking “that’s dumb.” And to rub your face in just how profoundly wrong you are, we’ve added new dungeons and cities that you can ONLY enter if you’re playing a mongbat. So take that all you "I think I just want to keep playing a human” naysayers.

We also know that what people really want is more stuff. Preferably a wide variety of holiday knick-knacks that will be promptly shoved into the far corners of your houses and never thought of again. We can’t think of a single better way to spend our time as developers than making these items. So, we’ve included giant inflatable Santas,  plastic reindeer that your characters will struggle for three hours to nail to their roof, various Thanksgiving entrees that your characters can eat until they’ve been prompted to vomit, labor day recliners, April-Fools dog poop and slutty Halloween costumes to name just a few of the exciting items you will receive throughout the year.

We intend to have you accumulate these items until you are literally eye-balls deep in their splendor. Then, we’re going to introduce a “spring cleaning” feature in which you can dump all of this useless junk in exchange for yet more junk.

But that’s not all!!!

By popular demand, we’re also releasing level 50 artifacts. These will be needed in order for you to kill the new monsters we’ve created, which will literally kill you by blinking unless you spend days at a time gathering the new artifacts.

Most of the new monsters we’ve released are the same monsters you’ve already seen, but we’ve brilliantly turned them a bright primary color with increased stats. That way you know you’re getting a new experience.

Oh! And we’ve added a new magic-based skill called “Arcane Ubercast” that will immediately make every other form of magic in the game completely useless. Just delete all of your characters and make Arcane Ubercasters. There’s no point in playing anymore unless you do.

As an added bonus, we’re giving mongbat characters an additional 200 skill in Arcane Ubercast. Humans will receive -5000 because let’s face it, anyone who doesn’t want to try our new features should suffer for their closed-mindedness.

And don’t even get me started on the mountable cyborg llamas with built in rocket launcher. Only mongbat characters will be able to ride these, unless you have the level 36 fuzzy boots of cyborg llama riding.

As a side note, we’re also working on a giant city with a complex infrastructure, a new system for skill gain that replaces grinding, a new layout for resources that will make crafting more challenging and profitable, a setting that should produce plenty of conflict and intriguing role-play, and a bunch of other crap that I seriously doubt anyone cares about. In retrospect, we really should have put more of that time and energy into the neon mongbats.

More updates to come. Looking forward to playing with all of you again!


#2 2014-09-04 12:01:04

S'a hammerin'.
Registered: 2013-05-16
Posts: 221

Re: New Features!!!!

Excellent! *waits to receive his bags of cash*


#3 2014-10-24 14:24:55

Althalus Khalorson
Registered: 2013-05-16
Posts: 89

Re: New Features!!!!

HoHo! I want char number 4! Mongbat Batfink! "My Wings Are Like A Shield Of Valorite"


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